I have this need to talk about something that I am currently working very hard on and needed some advice from my blog readers out there...all 2 of you...so here goes.
I am finding that turning back the hands of time is something I soooo wish I could do right now, why you ask? Not, because I want to change diapers or worry about babysitters or even to have my pre-baby body back!
I wished that I was a better mother, a more patient and kind mom. I spent way too much time worrying about how the house looked, how my kids performed and their grades in school that I took no time to really help them pursue their own interests and desires. I know I had them in church every week and we had family prayers and FHE but was that enough? I hope so! I have heard the apostles and prophets counsel us to do those things and our children will learn it and get it, sometimes it just takes some longer then others.
I feel inadequate and just plain ol' sorry! I know that all I can do now is move on and make the best of what I have done. I am NOT sorry for raising my kids the WAY I did, I just think more sorry about the execution of some things. I was more a gestapo at times then a loving and nurturing mom. I was that way because I thought that was the way to raise obedient children. Kind of the, "Put the fear of God and me", in them and they will never stray. So years later I find this didn't work and that they ultimately make their own decisions and choices!
I want to know is there a way to make this better or am I just wishful thinking here, is it like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound? If there is and one of you know it, then please share that with me!
This is not a feel sorry for me post either, rather a, "I want to enlighten any future or reigning gestapo moms" post or truly a "If you have a solution to my problem" post! LOL!
I hope you are all having a great summer, at least whats left of it!
1 comment:
Dear Lyla,
I am not a mom, as you know, so I can't really give you any solid advice. All I can say is that when I look at you, I see an absolutely amazing mom. I think you've done a great job raising great kids. Isn't it interesting how sometimes we can beat ourselves up over what we didn't do perfectly, when we did a lot right? I'm not a mom yet, but since I have a tendency to do that in other aspects of my life, I'm sure I'll do it when I reach motherhood, too. You're a great mom and a great lady. I love you!
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