Are You a Gestapo Mom!

I have this need to talk about something that I am currently working very hard on and needed some advice from my blog readers out there...all 2 of you...so here goes.

I am finding that turning back the hands of time is something I soooo wish I could do right now, why you ask? Not, because I want to change diapers or worry about babysitters or even to have my pre-baby body back!

I wished that I was a better mother, a more patient and kind mom. I spent way too much time worrying about how the house looked, how my kids performed and their grades in school that I took no time to really help them pursue their own interests and desires. I know I had them in church every week and we had family prayers and FHE but was that enough? I hope so! I have heard the apostles and prophets counsel us to do those things and our children will learn it and get it, sometimes it just takes some longer then others.

I feel inadequate and just plain ol' sorry! I know that all I can do now is move on and make the best of what I have done. I am NOT sorry for raising my kids the WAY I did, I just think more sorry about the execution of some things. I was more a gestapo at times then a loving and nurturing mom. I was that way because I thought that was the way to raise obedient children. Kind of the, "Put the fear of God and me", in them and they will never stray. So years later I find this didn't work and that they ultimately make their own decisions and choices!

I want to know is there a way to make this better or am I just wishful thinking here, is it like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound? If there is and one of you know it, then please share that with me!

This is not a feel sorry for me post either, rather a, "I want to enlighten any future or reigning gestapo moms" post or truly a "If you have a solution to my problem" post! LOL!

I hope you are all having a great summer, at least whats left of it!

Finau Family Missionaries!

Growing up I never thought we would produce so many missionaries from the Saula and Tilini Finau clan! Maybe partly because we had 6 girls and it was a rarity for sisters to serve then. But I am happy to say that we have had many from this immediate family of ours and I am so proud! Michael (Loni and Grants son) just boarded a plane this am heading to SLC for a week of fun with the family and then off he goes to the MTC for 3 months to study and learn Spanish to teach the people of Argentina, Bahia Blanca Mission!

So far from this family we have...

Loni Finau Jones(sister) served in Sacramento, Calif. 1982-1984
Filipe Mausia (adopted brother) served in Prove, Utah 1988-1990
Thomas E. Burke (nephew) served in Denver, Colorado 1996-1998
David J. Kaminski (nephew)served in SLC, Utah 2000-2002
Travis Outly (nephew) served in Auckland, New Zealand 2001-2003
Joey Kauvaka (nephew) served in Panama City, Panama 2003-2005
Grant Jones II (nephew) served in Sydney, Australia 2005-2007
Loni Anne Nock (daughter) serving on Temple Square 2008-2010
Alexis Jones (niece) serving on Temple Square 2009-2010
Michael Jones (nephew) serving in Argentina 2009-2011

What a blessing their service has been to our family! I am grateful to missionaries who give of their time and talents to helping those come unto Christ!

We have recently been in touch with one of the missionaries that taught and baptized my husband and let me tell you, our lives are forever changed because of Eric Barden and Derron Bowyer! I hope they realize the impact they have left on our forever family!

So, I wish my sweet Michael the very best mission experiences possible! I pray that Heavenly father will keep him safe till he returns home! I am grateful for Sisters Nock and Jones and their desire to serve at this time! They are beautiful, bright and spiritual young ladies inside and out! My dad and mom are so proud! I know it!

Sweet Dreams

Donnie and Baby Lyla came over last night and they crawled into bed with Dan and I last night.

They felt so good with their soft baby skin and that yummy baby powder smell. They gave me kisses and said sweet things like, "Nana I love you" and "Papa so funny".

We watched about 15 minutes of Disney and before I knew it I felt Baby Lyla's little body go limp on my left arm, and then I heard Donnie snoring in my right ear. My stretched out arms ached a bit, longing to go back in the curling position while lying on my side but, I just couldn't let these sweet babies go. They are only this small for such a short period of time! These are such precious times and memories! I LOVE being their Nana!

Boys will be Boys!

My Danny went on a mini mission last week and I really missed him! He was only an hour and a half away but that was far enough. I know that when he goes on his real mission I will really miss him but will be so happy he is serving the Lord. He got to ride his bike, knock on doors, watch the elders administer to the sick and broken hearted, ate at member's homes, plan, study and even allowed to teach part of a lesson at a less active members home! His week was awesome filled with fun, hard work and sweat interviews, splits and zone conference! He came home Saturday and he stayed up talking to me about it all for about an hour. He expressed to me his excitement to go on his real mission. He did miss us and Emily though. I pray he will continue to have a great desire to serve the Lord!

Spencer went to scout camp and said that in his 4 years of going that this was the worst year ever! The camp site was really kind of a joke! The food was worse then school lunch (I can't even imagine). The weather was OK but they did get rained on so badly one night that all their bedding got soaking wet! the up side to this all was that he went to dinner and a move w/ the troop and the dads on wed. night! I was so glad when he got home and I just want him to do this long enough to get his eagle scout! He has all his badges but plans on getting a few more and then we need to find a great and worthwhile project!

John is in a summer league baseball team! He is playing 3rd base and is hitting off a pitching machine...this is the first time for him to play that way. I went and got his baseball equipment and he thinks he is such a tough guy now! I really enjoy watching his games, even if it is hot and has lots of mosquito's! Nothing like watching your kids have fun!

Summer seems to be flying by and before we know it, it will be football season! It will be my Danny's last year playing in high school! He is the captain of the team this year and has been conditioning for the last few months! Hopefully, we have a great season! I love my boys!

"So, come what may"

I must say, life has been crazy lately! I feel sometimes overwhelmed by it all. I am writing this in hopes that its just me looking at this thing anymore! LOL! I am unsure sometimes of what I am supposed to be learning from all these trials, and then I hear of someone else's trails and once again, grateful for mine! All I can say is that my life has taken unexpected twists and turns but, for some reason I and I alone KNOW why! My life is a direct result of my choices in my earlier life. And that's ok, I understand that I am still loved by my Heavenly Father and that I do have a wonderful and supportive family.

I just want to understand why life can be so AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! ya feel me? Well, like President Hancock says (my stake president), "We can do hard things"! I believe that, I know its true I just need to remember it!

Sister Nock told Sela in January at Temple Square, "I believe in Christ, so come what may". I feel the exact same way, I just need to remember it! That's all...